Q: My guy is a Marine, basically a trained killer for the Unites States, so I have to stay totally connected with him even when we fuck like wild dogs so that he doesn't choke me to death! You got any tips for me?

A: Wow. Thanks for that little piece of sexual chocolate Dyylan James. (Make sure you show Dyylan some love by pressing like on her Epic and Out of bound FB page) I love your honesty. Here is what I have to say about this:
Choking during sex is very difficult due to the fact that you have to mitigate so many different variables, such as how long to hold the choke and how much weight vs. strength to use—and that's a hard balance to maintain when you’re fucking like animals, especially right before climax.
One of the tricks that I suggest to couples is TRY TO MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT! As soon as the person doing the choking can't hold your gaze, he or she is more than likely about to climax, which usually results in a seizing of the muscles and even more pressure on the neck. THIS IS THE DANGER ZONE. 
It’s because most people have a moment or two where they can't control their muscles, and all their thoughts turn inward—the person being choked is at the mercy of circumstance. What can the sub do? Honestly, there is nothing she can do if she passes out, but if she hasn't, she can do what I like to call "Collapse the Building". There are two ways of doing this. 
(NOTE: The instructions for this move are not foolproof and are subject to your individual circumstance. It may work and it may not, so please don't think that this is a universal fix.)

Method One 1. If the person is on top using their right arm, the person on the bottom should take their left arm and place it behind the head of the person doing the choking. 2. Then the person on the bottom should take their right hand and place their right hand on the inside of their partner’s elbow (This would be the person who is doing the choking's right hand.) 3. Then the person on the bottom should simultaneously push down on the inside of their partner’s elbow (push toward the person being choked’s toes) while pulling the person doing the choking in toward them. This should not only redirect the person doing the choking’s weight but also

remove some of the strength from their hands.

Method Two: 

There is another way to do the "Collapse the Building" technique. 1. If you are on the bottom, interlock your fingers above the bend in your partner’s elbow. 2. Then, using both hands, push down on the bend in the arm (down toward your feet). This should also collapse the elbow and relieve the pressure. The best thing about this way of breaking the choke is that it doesn't force the genitals to disengage, so you don't interrupt your partner’s orgasm.





{Orpheus Black is a sex educator specializing in Poly, D/s and M/s Dynamics. He is also a, professional and lifestyle Dominant, and alternative lifestyle speaker in Los Angeles. For more information on classes or speaking engagements please email him at orpheusandindigo@gmail.com}