How does a d type (Dominant) handle an s type (submissive) emotional triggers?
How does a d type handle an s type emotional triggers?
How does the D-type handle emotional triggers? Very carefully!
There exists this serious question which goes around quite frequently in many D/s circles - "Should a D-type try to help an s-type with his or her emotional issues or should the s-type find someone (preferably- a professional) who can help the s-type with his or her problems?
In most cases, a sub is just dealing with a broken heart and is usually looking to talk to someone. That's not a big deal. All the D-type needs to do is listen, nod, and apply a hug as needed.
A more serious problem presents itself when the sub's issues begin to negatively affect his or her daily life - ie:
- Missing work.
- Not eating, or eating too much
- Sleeping excessively - or for days on end
- Drinking excessively.
- Drug use.
- Not bathing or bathing excessively.
- Creating situations that demand your attention.
- Flinching at any physical gesture.
Any or several of these issues are warning signs that the sub may need professional help. If the D-type isn't professionally trained to manage or treat these types of emotional issues, His or Her handling of the situation may not help the sub, but could possibly make things worse.
After 15 years in this community, I know of 10 subs who have committed suicide and I know of 2 attempted suicides. What really stands out to me is that many people did try to help but not many of those people recommended professional help.
That being said, I also think that there exists a substantial amount of pressure on D-types to be superheroes. Much of that is our own fault, considering so many of us masquerade as Masters and misrepresent Ourselves in other ways. This is one instance when a title can imply more than what it is.
I believe that the best thing a D-type can do is to know His or Her capabilities and limitations and work within those parameters. And if an s-type approaches with a serious issue, that the D-type could either step into the role and be that shoulder to lean on, or step out of the role and help the s-type find the appropriate help needed. O
Orpheus Black, together with his wife Indigo, is the current titleholder of Southern California Leather Master/slave title for 2014. In addition Orpheus is a well known educator and speaker on alternative and hierarchical lifestyle dynamics.
He is also a lifestyle and professional Dom, performance artist, and fetish skills teacher, as well as a published author, blogger, storyteller, and martial arts enthusiast.
Be sure to go to check out his facebook page (www.facebook.com/orpheus.black.12 ) and follow Orpheus to find out more about his books classes and more.
