"Collars!" The Symbol of Ownership and Mastery - Becoming Christian Grey Part IIII
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When I came into the scene, there were 4 types of collars. There was a consideration collar, a training collar, an everyday collar, and a formal collar. What amazes me today is how casually these collars are now viewed. To me, these collars represent people making commitments to one another. To me, these collars represent landmark moments in not only our relationships but in our lifestyle as a whole. Call me old-fashioned but I think that its important that that we examine what does a collar mean now a day.
1: What does a collar mean?
"Being collared" is a generic term, yet most often it means that the person wearing the collar is owned by the person who gave it to her or him. But sometimes, subs will buy their own collars and wear them, even though they do not belong to anyone. This is often the kinky equivalent of putting on earphones on in the subway, in hopes that the wrong people will stay away. Wearing a collar can also be a signal to show potential dominants that a person identifies as a submissive or slave. Lastly, a collar can be worn simply as a fashion accessory to enhance an outfit. In these last instances, "being collared" does not carry a significant meaning, like the other collars do.
2: The consideration collar:
Oftentimes a dominant will bestow a consideration collar upon a sub or a slave. The intention behind giving a consideration collar is to create a working dynamic in which the dominant will eventually own that sub. But - this does not mean that the sub belongs to the dominant at that time.
To me, this is one of the best ways in which to start a dynamic because it requires that the dominant place parameters around the consideration process - parameters which are not only obtainable but sustainable as well. The dominant can see what it's like to interact with the sub over a period of time, and both can determine whether or not they want to commit to a dynamic. This can be thought of as "leasing with an option to buy". Usually, a consideration collar is something basic like small chain held together with a lock, or a very basic leather collar with a ring on the front.
One of the current trends which disappoints me is the fact that some dominants place a person under consideration without explaining what consideration means to them; without explaining how long the process will take; without explaining what this consideration period entails. To me, this shows either a lack of knowledge or integrity on the part of the dominant. It also takes away the sub's ability to consent because there were no terms given to which he or she could consent.
3: The training collar:
The training collar has become one of the most widely misinterpreted collars of all. So let's examine this in more depth and discuss the original meaning of a training collar. A training collar is the collar which is used to improve a sub's body, mind, and his or her ability to serve. The training collar is not a collar of ownership or intent. It is a collar which is used in play and/or in a training capacity - often given during, but not limited to, the consideration process.
Very often, part of a sub's evaluation is how easily she can be trained, or how well she responds to the dominant's style of training. So it was and is important for a Master to have a training method which helps him to evaluate whether a sub is progressing, stagnant or regressing. Also, I believe that it's important to note that while most training collars are posture collars, all posture collars are not training collars.
4: What is a collaring ceremony?
A collaring ceremony is the BDSM equivalent to getting married, for a.lack of a better word. It's an event in which all parties stand up (or kneel lol!) in front of their community and say that they are together as one. This is what most people mean when they say that they are a collared sub or slave.
Again, maybe I am old fashioned but to me, everything we do is about commitment; commitment to the lifestyle; commitment to our role in that lifestyle; commitment to each other. If I were to give the collar meaning, it would symbolize two sides coming together and every time I put the collar on, it would be a renewal of that coming together, and the lock on the collar is a symbol of what binds them together.
5: Other types of collars.Often, dominants who are seriously into M/s, D/s or TPE, use two different types of collars. The first is an everyday collar
The everyday collar is usually something small and easy to wear. I have seen things such as silver chains with ornamental locks, to small leather choker-like.necklaces. The point of the everyday collar is for the sub to be able to go through life unencumbered, while wearing a subtle reminder that she or he is owned.
A formal or high protocol collar is a collar that is not only a reminder that the slave is owned, but it also serves as a reminder of the specific role that he or she plays in that relationship. It reminds the slave to leave the vanilla world behind and to slip into the role which he or she was given.
One thing which has frustrated me about several of the up and coming dominants is this idea that they can put anything around a slave's neck and it means that he is a Master and she will be his slave. To paraphrase 50 Cent - "You can tell a lot about a man by just looking at the woman that he is with." So if a dominant just puts a piece of string around a slave's neck, which is held together by a paper clip..... What does that say about the dominant? (By the way - that did actually happen.....)
The formal collar is like a wedding ring. It should be beautiful, and just like a wedding ring, the precious materials used to make that collar will make it even more special.
6: Determining which collar to buy
As a person who has made some very expensive collars, I know how much leather costs, and I can distinguish whether it's a cheap quality leather or if it's expensive. I have created a simple guide to help navigate the process of buying a formal leather collar.
If we were to compare metals to leather, the correlation would look like this;
Steel, Tungsten, Titanium : Bull Chap, Raw Hide, Suede, split; for example, most belts are made from Chap, and dog toys are made from rawhide.
Silver : Floater, Coach, Butter leather, Deer, Elk Buffalo, Hair on, Rabbit Fur; for example, most handbags are made using one of these leather qualities.
Gold : Ostrich(leg) Snake, Lizard, Eel, Italian Leather, Calf, Kangaroo, Fox Fur
Platinum : Ostrich(back), Shark, Croc, Gator, Stingray, Nile Croc, Hippo, Elephant, Mink, Wolf Fur, Seal Fur, Chinchilla Fur, Lynx Fur and other exotic skins; the more rare the skin, the better.
What it comes down to is this. Your collar shows your investment in not only your sub but in your lifestyle. So before you go out to spend a few hundred on your next toy, you may want to upgrade the collar being worn around the neck of the most important toy you own.
Orpheus Black
