Zenfull thoughts on Patriarchy and the Male Submisive struggle

I had a conversation with a Vet today who was struggling with his sexuality. He talked about how he was raised in a structured home, then moved to a structured environment ( army ) and came home to nothing. He spoke about his desire to be a sub because he craved the structure and yet, he thought that he couldn't pursue it because submission goes against everything he has been taught that masculinity is. I think that we forget that patriarchy affects both men and women. We forget that male bodies individuals have been force-fed this bullshit narrative as to what it means to be a real man. We forget that male bodied people have been told that thier net worth and their Self worth are inextricably linked. As well as the fact that the only way that one can be beneficial to their family is as a financial provider. Often times male bodied individuals get so wrapped up in being "Men" that they forget to be human. Much of the pain and adversity that this American hero was facing was around the shedding of the patriarchal perceptions that had been placed upon him long before he was born. I told him that he had to first let go of the path that he was on before he could start a new one. And for the first time, in a long time, he admitted that he was scared. He said that he wasn't scared of dying... he was scared of living...  living with the idea that service, serving, kneeling, crawling and being in services just feels right. That really hurt my heart.

Sometimes we forget that life doesn't put obstacles on our path... the truth is that the obstacle is our path. A path with many highs and lows... twists and turns. And often we get so wrapped up in walking our path we forget that their are others that are struggling to find theirs. I like so many others found the lifestyle by accident and because we came across it so easy we often assume that everyone can or has don't the same. But it's not true.

Since we were born our society, culture, families, government and religious institutions have told us who we should be and what paths we should take. In the name of conformity they use fear, shame, anger, ultimatums, suppression and oppression to force conformity. And yet, all these things really succeed in is producing the type of phenomena that it targets... 

So how do you know when your on the wrong path? 

You know your on the wrong path when you feel that the path that you are walking is not inline with your nature nor your desires. When your path says that you can't love, can't like or must hate...  it's not the right path. 

So love who you love, wear what you want to wear be who you want to be without shame or regret. Don't look back and above all else... just be who you are...