A Dominant is like a Director: Becoming the real Christian Grey Part 1

A Dominant is like a director. Not only does he come up with a role for his partner to play, but it's also his job to supply the person filling that role with context, direction, and with the motivation needed to bring out the very best in that person.

So how does the Dominant do this?

Step one:  The Dominant must know the role that he wants someone else to play - inside and out. This means that he has to know himself - what he wants and what he needs - and in that way, he can create a role for his partner, which will compliment him, his style, and his approach.

Step two:  He must have a script which both he and his partner can follow. A slave training manual would be the best format for a script, but at the very least, a detailed contract would suffice. A slave training manual consists of a list of the Dominant's own standard protocols and rituals, types of behaviors expected, and standards for attire as well as deportment.  Most subs just want consistency from the person whom they follow and if that person has a detailed outline of not only the role he or she will play, but including also the role which the Dominant himself will play for the sub, it allows the sub to feel more comfortable, knowing not only that she can be held accountable for what she does or doesn't do, but that the Dominant can be held accountable as well.

Step three: A Dominant should use this role that he wishes to fill, as part of the vetting process. Not only will he see if the person's mind is already in line with the part for which he is casting, but it will also help him to refine and personalize that role according to the sub being vetted. He knows that every role is not suitable for every person.

Following this process creates a new protocol specifically suited to this person, highlighting her stronger attributes while downplaying her weaknesses. It also provides both partners with the context by which they will interact with each other should things progress.

Step four:  The Dominant must know his role and play his part. In this production, he is the costar so he must be dependable, reliable, and must be able to stay on point with the script.

Let's be honest..... every Dominant thinks of himself as leading man material! However, if he doesn't have the ability to bring out the best in others, then he needs to give up that role to someone who can do that.

Step five: Everyone needs to start small. No successful director ever started off with an immediate blockbuster as a novice. It's important that every Dominant knows how to start small and work his way up, by first creating small dynamic roles for his subs, with obtainable and sustainable goals. Meeting goals, developing rituals, and following through consistently creates a sense of accomplishment, which leads to further growth. Countless people enter into our lifestyle with no experience, intent on creating a lifestyle of such epic scale that not even the most experienced of Dominants would attempt. Not only does this inevitably fail, but people's lives are often affected, usually in a negative manner.

In conclusion: A Dominant should orchestrate his protocols, roles, and rituals during an actual scene. In this way, he can see not only see where he has made mistakes but also where the training and protocols fail. Directing the course of action in this manner will minimize the risk of mentally or emotionally harming others because once the scene is over, the players can go back to their lives and the Dominant can go back to the drawing board.