Can protecting my heart have a negative effect on a my relationship?

Luxury Amore and Orpheus Black On the set of
Black Submission II  

Can protecting my heart have a negative effect on my relationship?

One of the things that I feel people forget to think about is how protecting themselves emotionally affects the people that are trying to get close to them emotionally.

That being said, you have to think, “How is your guarded behavior translating to them?” Is it coming off as secretive, resistant, defensive, procrastinating, depressive etc.? And how are they going to respond? After all science tells us that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So try this little experiment.

Walk up to a friend and then put your hands up to defend yourself as if it were a fight. And, without a word try to get close to them and see how they react. Will they become defensive? Does it put them on guard? Will they back away? Are they going to lash out?

Who knows, but this outward reaction is very similar to the emotional responses that we have to others that try to get close to us emotionally while our guard is up.

Now so

me people may like the challenge and some won't. But the point is all relationships are reactive. So we have to obey the laws of cause and effect at all times.

What I try to keep in my mind at all times is, “What is my actions ‘causing’ him or her to do and how is it ‘affecting’ our relationship.