How to get started in the Fetish / BDSM lifestyle?
People often ask how they can get a start in the fetish /BDSM lifestyle. I always tell them the same thing. "Go to a public fetish club!" Which is followed by "What's the difference between a public an Private fetish club?"
A public fetish club is an event that is open to the public. Meaning, anyone that pays the admission can come inside and watch ( and in some cases participate in ) all the kinky fun that is being portrayed on stage. Often these clubs employ performers that do all types of shows that are designed to push the boundaries of sex and sexuality.
One of my favorite fetish events is Black Unicorn in Hollywood. At Black unicorn you get to Frolic with the town’s most infamous dominatrixes, pinup queens, and creatures of the night. You can watch or participate as they serve you up decadent dark disco sounds, slave dancers, fashion, and floor shows were all of your naughtiest fantasies come to life on stage.
Most of these clubs have a policy that is "DRESS CODE ENCOURAGED BUT NOT REQUIRED." This definitely makes it so that people that are interested can come in off the street and not feel completely out of place. But at the Black Unicorn the style of dress is often debaucherous couture. You will also find all forms of fabulously under-clothed overglittered extra naughty clothing.
{For those that are interested in coming out to Black Unicorn on may 17th click here for more information. }
One of the benefits of attending a public fetish club is that they usually have security and are bound by city / state laws so things cannot go to far. If they do there's always someone near by that can help you. One of the down sides is most of these clubs usually have a camera man which means that the club cannot guarantee your anonymity... So if privacy is important you might want to go to a more private venue.
A Private Fetish club on the other hand usually receives patrons via word of mouth. These clubs usually require a membership in order to attend parties / functions or non members need to be accompanied by someone with a membership.
The best private club in LA is by far the Lair de Sade. The Lair de Sade is a not-for-profit organization established for the pleasure and recreation of Erotic Power Exchange enthusiasts and D/s lifestylers. The members gather at our exquisite private establishment, Lair De Sade, to freely associate, exchange information and ideas, and to share demonstrations between consenting adults.
There are several pluses to a private club. Many of the players are usually very patient and knowledgeable so you can often find people doing the things that you are interested in and ask questions. There is also a relative amount of anonymity because there is no photography and the events are not open to the public. Which means people can often go further than they would normally.
In closing, take an active role in your sex life and even if you don't make it out to these events go out and find places like the the Lair and Black Unicorn were you can begin your journey.
